Grounds for Divorce

God designed that our commitment to our partner is to be a lifetime commitment. God has granted only one condition upon which it is permissible for us to obtain a divorce from our partner. That is the grounds of adultery. He does not command us to divorce an unfaithful partner, but He does allow for divorce in such a situation where the adulterer is unrepentant and continuing to be uncommitted to the marriage vows.

God has given us further clarification on this matter through the Spirit of Prophecy. We have a wealth of information to guide us in this area. It is clear from these writings that divorce is only an option when true repentance is not manifested. It is also interesting to note that, even if there is not repentance, if the “innocent” party continues to live with the “guilty party” after the guilt is known, the legal right for divorce is forfeited. (Please notice the statement at the end of the letter.) By no stretch of the imagination could we conclude that years after the fact, if a “better” opportunity arises, that one could then exercise his or her option to leave the marriage because of an indiscretion committed years ago.

Please consider these inspired statements:

“Holiness to God through Christ is required of Christians. If there are wrongs in the church, they should receive immediate attention. Some may have to be sharply rebuked. This is not doing the erring one any wrong. The faithful physician of the soul cuts deep, that no pestilent matter may be left to burst forth again. After the reproof has been given, then comes repentance and confession, and God will freely pardon and heal. He always pardons when confession is made.” Advent Review and Sabbath Herald, December 11, 1900

“When sin has deadened the moral perceptions, the wrong-doer does not discern the defects of his character nor realize the enormity of the evil he has committed; and unless he yields to the convicting power of the Holy Spirit he remains in partial blindness to his sin. His confessions are not sincere and in earnest. To every acknowledgment of his guilt he adds an apology in excuse of his course, declaring that if it had not been for certain circumstances, he would not have done this or that for which he is reproved. But the examples in God's word of genuine repentance and humiliation reveal a spirit of confession in which there is no excuse for sin or attempt at self-justification.” Testimonies for the Church Volume Five, page 641

Here is the full text of the statement on divorce written by Ellen and James White.

•  In cases of the violation of the seventh commandment, where the guilty party does not manifest true repentance, if the injured party can obtain a divorce without making their own cases and that of their children, if they have them, worse by so doing, they should be free.

•  If they would be liable to place themselves and their children in worse condition by a divorce, we know of no scripture that would make the innocent party guilty by remaining.

•  Time, and labor, and prayer, and patience, and faith, and a godly life, might work a reform. To live with one who has broken the marriage vows, and is covered all over with the disgrace and shame of guilty love, and realizes it not, is an eating canker to the soul; and yet, a divorce is a lifelong, heartfelt sore. God pity the innocent party. Marriage should be considered well before contracted.

•  Why! oh Why! will men and women who might be respectable, and good, and reach heaven at last, sell themselves to the devil so cheap, wound their bosom friends, disgrace their families, bring a reproach upon the cause, and go to hell at last? God have mercy. Why will not those who are overtaken in crime manifest repentance proportionate to the enormity of their crime, and fly to Christ for mercy, and heal, as far as possible, the wounds they have made?

•  But, if they will not do as they should, and if the innocent have forfeited the legal right to a divorce by living with the guilty after his guilt is known, we do not see that sin rests upon the innocent in remaining, and her moral right in departing seems questionable if her health and life be not greatly endangered in so remaining.

Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce., page 251

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